Mistakes…I just keep making them. When God called me to start this ministry, I knew with certainty that He called me to step down from my previous position. In my heart, I felt God wanted me to focus on reading and studying his Word. However, seeds of doubt regarding our finances were being planted by the enemy. Worry and fear crept in and I even said, “I need a real people job to pay the bills while this ministry grows.” The more I looked, the more stressed I became. I had several Godly folks tell me to wait and see what God was going to do.
I applied for a job that I really didn’t think I would enjoy. The on-boarding process was excruciating. Everything felt wrong and my stress level was so high, but it was a “good job” with “good benefits”. So, I kept pushing and striving to get it. (Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I a God. In the New American Standard this verse is translated “Quit striving”). I finally got the offer and official start date. I wasn’t excited to start the first day, but prayed and went on. Tears and more tears flowed when I got home that night. I knew I had gotten ahead of God, but now what? Do you stay and tough it out or quit. Each day was painful. I was praying and wondering. My husband said to quit. But, who wants to be a quitter, right?
We live in this new society that tells us to push, strive, keep going, succeed, make a way, find a way. Judgement looms at every corner from all the “successful” people pushing the “if you have a positive attitude, it will all be perfect.” I’ve got news for you today. I am “positive” that if you are not in God’s will, you will be miserable. Now, I am not saying we are not to have a positive attitude. “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7 However, positivity will not keep God from shutting the door. We are to be joyful and joy-filled when he shuts it!
My pastor reminded us in a sermon a couple of weeks ago that the scripture says, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:21) It does NOT say “my good and successful servant.” In God’s eyes “faithful” is true success. That right there should make you shout!
So, back to the story…Sunday evening at church, one of God’s saints prayed with me. I had told her that I didn’t want to make another mistake by quitting if that wasn’t God’s will. She prayed and pleaded on my behalf for God to make His perfect will clear to me and to give me a “burning bush” moment. Knowing me the way she does, she knew it would have to be big and clear like the burning bush story in order for me to get it. True friendship.
Let me just tell you, when you pray and ask God for a burning bush moment, you better grab a fire extinguisher. My day was so difficult that I started feeling dizzy. My head started to hurt and I took a glance in the mirror to see that my face was beet red. Now, I am a full face make-up gal. So, for the redness to shine through that much makeup meant one thing. High blood pressure. It was dangerously high as was my resting heart rate. Fight or flight is a thing!
I don’t work there now. God answered the prayers of my Saintly friend and that burning bush all but singed my eyebrows off!
The boss called and offered me the opportunity to come back and transition into another position. Again, my worldly desire for money tempted me. After the conversation, my blood pressure went back up. Another Godly sister reminded me of the story of Lot’s wife turning into a pillar of salt when she turned back to what God had called her from. Thank God for Godly sisters in our lives. God speaks to us through his still small voice, through the Bible and through people.
How many red flags do you see in this story where God was trying to get me to pay attention? It’s easier to see when it’s someone else’s story or when we are looking back. He was with me all the way but I wasn’t getting it. Have you ever been there?
Learning and growing our relationship with God is what He wants first for us. Now, I am not saying that we shouldn’t have jobs. But, impatience often leads to making decisions without God’s will. I am thankful that I know now. I will mess up again, but am diligently seeking His direction.
I believe that God provides. He has never let us go without before and I believe He will continue to provide our portion. Again, the world’s view of success is so different from God’s. If I have less material things and less money, but am in His will and have peace; then, I am rich.
Be encouraged today that you do NOT have to live by the incessant “strive to be wealthy” garbage being fed to you through social media memes. God is looking at your faithfulness. Are you reading your Bible? Do you spend time praying? Are you telling others about Jesus?
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21
If you have had a burning bush moment, drop it in the comments. I want to hear from you.