If cleanliness is next to Godliness, then, I was wallowing in the pig pen today. Is my house dirty? Yes, but that’s not the point here. Can I be real and honest? When God calls you to something, the enemy flips out. Discouragement, doubt, fear, anxiousness, anger…..he sends it all. I have a scarred past and a forked tongue! The ugliness of my past reared its nasty head and yanked me square in the mud today. Ugh. The enemy works overtime and I hate to give him credit. Me. It’s my fault. I got side-tracked before finishing my devotional time this morning. Smack, he nailed me. The Bible says to arm ourselves in the Word. I didn’t have on the helmet of salvation and I have some spiritual mud in my hair!
You know that you have reached a level of awareness, though, when you hear yourself yelling, “Get thee behind me Satan in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.” Better to be screaming at the enemy than just screaming. Things are hard. There, I said it. I resigned my “position” with my company and decided to follow this call to teach and speak His Word to women. My checkbook and my mind tell me that I need a job to support this ministry and our daily life. My heart and faith tell me that God will provide my portion in his due time. Things are hard. Yep, I said it again. It is easy to teach (with words) that God is faithful and provides for the call. It’s a whole different story to teach that with actions; and, today I fell in the mud. I lost my spirit, my control, and my mind.
Tomorrow will be better. Why? Because, it has to be. Because, God is bigger than my obstacles. Because, I will arm myself in the Word before doing ANYTHING else. Because, He says to live by faith and not by sight. Because God is equipping the call. “Because, because, because, because, because of the wonderful things he does.” Sing it. That quote will make sense then. Yes, I know that was from the Wizard of Oz. However, I was singing it about Jesus.
That’s all for now. Thanks for letting me spill my heart all over your shoes.